


Crusty Spoons

by haarleytargaryen



Series: Band Texts (5SOS) [3]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AND MADE ME CREATE CALUMS REACTION, Ashton has one good innuendo FINALLY, Calum is NOT up for it, Calum is a prude bc hes pissed, Calum is about to snap a bitches neck lmaO, Lashton has problems, Luke is sassy, M/M, MICHAELS EYEBROW PIERCING INSPIRED ME, Micahel is on thin ice lmao, Michael is horny, This Is STUPID, band texts, but they fix them, i dont think its an innuendo but i tried, im not funny, they always call each other by their ship names if you havent noticed by now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 12:26:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2025096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haarleytargaryen/pseuds/haarleytargaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum: NOT THE TIME FUCKTARDS</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crusty Spoons

**Author's Note:**

> This is a shitty product produced from zero hours of sleep. And also Michael being an assHOLE and getting that damn eyebrow piercing. Fuck you.

**Luke** : Michael

 

 **Luke** : Mikey

 

 **Luke** : Mike

 

 **Luke** : dude

 

 **Luke** : MICHAEL ANSWER UR DAMN PHONE

 

 **Luke** : Miiiiiichael :(

 

 **Michael** : what the fuck do u want emo

 

 **Luke** : Ashton is being mean to me :(

 

 **Michael** : so?

 

 **Luke** : can i come over to ur and calums place pls

 

 **Michael** : um no

 

 **Luke** : whY

 

 **Michael** : cause for one i hate u

 

 **Michael** : second calum hates u

 

 **Luke** : stop spilling out liES

 

 **Calum** : Michael why are u being mean to luke?

 

 **Luke** : caaaaalum :D

 

 **Michael** : hes fucking bothering me with his lashton problems

 

 **Calum** : u should know by now that everyone in this band is open to help with lashton problems

 

 **Michael** : when tf did that become a thing???

 

 **Calum** : ….just now

 

 **Luke** : yeah asshole get with the program

 

 **Michael** : did u just use a 19th fucking century line at me?

 

 **Luke** : ofc I did

 

 **Calum** : not that im enjoying the muke-ness of this but like can u both stfu

 

 

 

 

**-A few hours pass because lashton had to have ~~hot angry sex~~ a responsible discussion about their relationship-**

 

 

 

 **Luke** : yaaay me and ashton made up :D

 

 **Calum** : TAKE UR BULLSHIT SOMEWHERE ELSE K?

 

 **Michael** : wtf is wrong with u im usualy the asshole

 

 **Calum** : oh…. i woNDER WHY

 

 **Michael** : that’s what i just asked you lol?

 

 **Calum** : >:|

 

 **Calum** : so whafhtgt the fuCk whY didn’t u tell me about this piercing??

 

 **Michael** : um

 

 **Calum** : weLL?

 

 **Michael** : i thought it wasn’t a big deal???

 

 **Calum** : noT A BIG De AL

 

 **Luke** : lmao now u know how I felt when Ashton got that tattoo

 

 **Ashton** : yeah but the after result OF that tattoo was worth it ;)

 

 **Calum** : LASHTON THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DISCUSSION STOP BEING AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE FFS

 

 **Luke** : take a chill pill goddamn

 

 **Ashton** : ur squinting so hard no wonder everyone always thinks ur asian

 

 **Luke** : is it good for ur neck veins to pop out like that???

 

 **Calum** : NOT THE TIME FUCKTARDS

 

 **Michael** : sooo…

 

 **Calum** : NO SEX. AGAIN.

 

 **Michael** : oH C’MON

 

 **Ashton** : only if u got a tongue ring lmao

 

 **Luke** : ^^^

 

 **Michael** : CAL

 

 **Michael** : CALUM

 

 **Michael** : IM SORRY I’LL RUB UR BACK FOR U

 

 **Michael** : PLS BBY IM HORNY

 

 **Calum** : stfu ur sleeping on the couch tonight

 

 **Michael** : WHAT DID I DO???

 

 **Calum** : U CAUSED OUR FANS TO HAVE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES ASSHOLE

 

 **Michael** : I DIDN’T MEAN TO

 

 **Calum** : LIES

 

 **Luke** : Horton hears a bitch ass liar

 

 **Ashton** : Oooh

 

 **Michael** : IS THIS ANOTHER GANG UP ON MICHAEL DAY WTF

 

 **Michael** : WHY AM I ALWAYS THE TARGET GODDAMN

 

 **Calum** : cause u always do things to piss us off that’s why u crusty spoon

 

 **Luke** : are u feeling it now mr krabbs?

 

 **Ashton** : ?

 

 **Michael** : ??

 

 **Calum** : ???

 

 **Luke** : :)


End file.
